All through my life, I’ve done things as “good enough”.  All through school my report cards read more or less the exact same way…”Has potential, could do better.”  My average in high school never left the 68-72% range until grade 13 (and 14^-^) when I knew I had to do better if I wanted to go to university, and even then, though my grades in certain classes were significantly better, they were still just good enough to get me in.

Then once in university, and my apologies to my dad on this, I just scraped by - failing courses, passing with Cs and Ds, doing just enough in the classes that affected my program to keep my average just above the point of getting kicked out.  But it was easy to justify.  I was excelling at the program I felt I was really in, ‘life’, and I still had the luxury of that mentality “Wh0 I’m gonna be”, meaning I was still a student.  Real life hadn’t arrived yet.

But then I graduated.  Spent some time out west skiing (which was awesome!!), and then came to Korea.  Now, this was the first time when my mentality started to change.  Not being a student anymore, it was no longer “who I’m gonna be”, but “Who I am.”  And I will admit, that did give me a certain kick and when I got here, I began to study Korean, harder than I’d ever studied anything in my life.  The first year, I will admit, I was quite proud of myself, but after about a year of it, my usual ways kicked in.  I was conversational, and I decided that wouldn’t study anymore, I’d just learn conversationally, which, execpt for a few brief stints, I continued up until even now.

For the first 5 years in Korea, things continued to improve and I continued to get better and better jobs - even to the point of starting our own little school, but after a little while, it started seeming like a trap to me.  Yes, they were better, but the words of my report cards from my whole life ago kept ringing in my head…”Could do better.”  I felt like the improvements in contracts (salary, vacation time, etc) were just good enough to keep me thinking I was advancing, and to keep me comfortable, but that it was that comfort that was stopping me from really reaching my potential - really seeing what I could do.

Fast forwarding to about a year and a half ago, I decided that enough was enough, I was going to make a go at this.  I didn’t know what ‘this’ was, or was going to be, but I thought I’d start. Skipping through part of the story that will be saved for another time, I quickly found myself studying the second subject I’d ever studied with any great passion - direct marketing.

Now, similar to the Korean thing, I started quickly out of the gates, but again found myself getting too often caught up in the ‘other things I could be doing’ and not really giving it my all - not doing it to my full potential (dammit, were my teachers right way back in elementary/middle/high school when they said if I didn’t break the habits then, they’d be near impossible to break when I’m older?)

I’ll have to go back here a bit and get into another fear that had been slowly growing in me as my years here in Korea passed, and that was about my parents.  They weren’t/aren’t getting any younger.  Was it right for me to be over here while they were there, and not spending the time with them I should be?  I could usually justify it fairly easily as I knew they supported me being here, and actually did a similar thing when they were about my age (meaning, lived overseas), but the fear of “What if something happens to one of them, and I spent the last of our time away” kept growing.  And then it happened.

I didn’t have a strong enough ‘why’ and so I a-little-more-than-half-assed it for long enough, and my ‘why’ got handed to me.  The phone call came…

“Rob,” they began, “they’ve found a lump on your father’s brain.” Easily the worst moment of my life.

Now, a little bit about my father.  He’s easily the man I respect most in this world for the amount he’s worked to give our family what we have, to put up with me and the way I liked (like) to do things, and to give me everything he’s given me, including the opportunity to go to school, come to Korea, the freedom to be who and do what I wanted, and the opportunity to be sitting here typing this, which, as I do, can’t help but well up a bit.

But basically, after hearing that news, my world came crashing down around me.  Like I said, my ‘why’ was created.  ‘Cause for us (Renee and I), the way I saw it, we could move back to Canada, but that really wasn’t a long term answer ’cause that would just put Renee in the same position I had been - spending time overseas while her family was over here.

But something had to be done.  I felt I had to figure out a way for us to basically spend as much time as we wanted in whichever country we wanted, to be free to travel back and forth at any point.  To be able to spend as much time as we wanted with the people most important to us (a lot of great friends fall into that category as well).

I’ve told some people about this plan, sometimes without them knowing the ‘why’, and occasionally I’d get a bit of a snicker, as if to say, “That’s a bit of a lofty (perhaps “unachievable) goal, no?”  Yes, it is lofty.  It won’t be easy.  But it’s doable (and perhaps worth doing because it won’t be easy), but not without that ‘why’.

So, why I am writing this?  Well, I think people find comfort and motivation when they know other people are going through something equally hard - I know I do - and if this will help even one person with that, then that is the first reason I’m writing it.

The other reason is to possibly suggest not waiting for that ‘why’ to be handed to you.  ‘Cause I think in most cases, when it does get handed to you, rather than you creating it, it’s going to come in the form of something not quite so nice - the universe giving you a sign that it’s time to quitting friggin’ about.  But if we can somehow create a goal that excites us enough to give us that ‘99%-strong why’, then we’ll just be that much further ahead of the game, and perhaps ourselves save a bit (or a lot) of unecessary heartache.

And I’m not saying it’s an easy thing to do at all.  I certainly wasn’t able to do it.  Like I said, my ‘why’ got handed to me.  But again, perhaps it not being easy is the reason it’s worth doing.

So that’s the first part of my ‘why.’  I’d love to hear about yours, if you care to share.

Cheers,

Rob…

p.s. And just as a bit of an update with my dad, things are a lot better.  The diagnosis turned out not to be something as bad as was first brought to us.  I still wouldn’t use the word ‘great’, but we’re all happy with (and grateful for) the way things have progressed so far.

I’d like to thank someone, actually I’d like to thank a lot of people (and these are in no particular order) - Bob Proctor for his teachings in SGR, Bob Taylor for his discussions and leading me to Bob Proctor, the writings of Mark Victor Hansen and Bob Allen in their recent book - Cash in a Flash, the teachings of Gay Hendricks in his book - The Big Leap, the quote posted by a guy I met recently, Cam, which went - “He who knows but does nothing, does not yet know” - Aaron Rook for being the first external influence to really plant the idea into my head just short of a decade ago that we’re actually (not just hallmark card fluff) capable of so much more (and the science behind it) , my parents for raising me with the freedom to develop on my own without the traditional restrictions one might be raised with (teachings of responsibility and choices rather than the iron fist), my friends’ Zach and Iain, for being my moral compasses at different stages of my life, my wife for her support and encouragement while I take on this journey, the universe for bringing all this together, and this list could go on and on.  There are certainly many more people I’d like to thank for helping shape the “me” I know today, and I will, in time (and more than likely to your face).

But on top of all that, there’s one more person I’d like to thank before I get into the beginning of my story, and that’s Kurt.  A good friend of mine with whom I grew apart for a while despite our close proximity, but who recently started a blog detailing certain aspects of his past, present, and future I’m sure, and in doing so, combined with that quote in the previous paragraph, has given me the kick in the ass (alright, the strength) I needed to start this - something I’ve been meaning to do for a while, but thanks to I think, the “critical voices” described so well in Cash in a Flash, until now did not think I could (What would people think?  What if I sound like an idiot?  Do I actually know anything that people might find useful?).

It’s funny that I can study so much about and from incredibly successful people (over the last 6 months), who believe in and teach that we can do anything (and how to do it), but perhaps the strongest source of strength and confidence comes from a close friend.  I guess it’s not really funny at all, quite intuitive really, but either way, I’d like to say thanks.  ’Cause really, that’s the point of what I’m hoping to do with this – help in whatever way I can to light fires under the asses of anyone who might find themselves in a similar boat (thinking there’s more they’d like to do than “this”, and more they’re capable of doing, but perhaps for one reason or another, haven’t yet).

One thing I’m certain of is that more or less my whole life, I’ve been nothing but blessed to have arguably the best friends (and family) a guy could ask for, and a significant amount of them, just crazy talented, and in my opinion completely beyond the scope of the word capable.  And there have been a certain few who’ve recently expressed about themselves the exact feelings I’ve been having and following, and so if by doing this, I can provide that “spark” that has been provided for me – or any kind of help/motivation/support whatsoever, then this will have been totally worth it.

And I’d even go a step further and say that ideally, for anyone in “this boat”, this forum can serve as a starting point for coming together, working, sharing, and growing together, ‘cause one thing that is stressed again and again (and again) by just about all of anyone who teaches the path to success – in any field – is that if you’re goal is lofty enough (and it should be), then accomplishing it is next to impossible to if you try to go it alone.  But with the support of a team of like-minded people, the odds are almost reversed (the story of Muhammad Yunus and what he’s helped 1000s of women do, maybe more importantly how he’s helped them do it, should be proof enough).

But basically, for me, it all boils down to this.  If we’re not living our lives the way we want to, what are we doing?  And by saying that, I certainly don’t mean in greed and selfishness, rather, quite the opposite - on  a path chosen because it’s what you love and are suited to do, a path we might choose much easier if it weren’t for the pressures of money and time (be them real or perceived), and to succeed not by competing, but by sharing, helping, and growing together.

And a further extension of this, if there’s something we’ve always wanted to do, think we’re capable of doing it, but have not yet tried, then, is that really the story we want to be telling in years to come?  The lesson we want to pass down to our kids?  I can’t quite see myself telling my kid(s) they can do anything in life they want if I haven’t tried, and don’t fully believe it myself.  And I’ll fully admit, I’m not innocent of this non-action (100% due to fear), but that’s all part of the rest of the story, and the motivation for starting.

So if you managed to make it the bottom of these ramblings and have something to share, feel free to reply to this post and let me know (seriously - positive, negative, I don’t care.  Criticism and skepticism are just as welcome as support and encouragement, so let’s hear it).

Cheers, and hope you’re having an even greater day than yesterday…